I’m not a huge fan of blonde jokes. Although I’m blonde, I don’t find them particularly offensive, I just generally think most of them are dumb. But, for stories like the one I’m going to tell you, well, it’s nice to be able to blame on something out of my control (like being blonde). So, here’s the story:

Went running tonight. It was so warm out today that running after it had just gotten dark was perfect. I ran in shorts and a tank top and wasn’t cold. Last week I was running in my fun winter hat with ear flaps, so it was really exciting. The running part was, well, crappy as always. I keep adding these uphill sections and it keeps pushing my puking limit. But, well, that’s neither here nor there.

So, at Columbia, the dorm I’m in has a key to the outside doors and then a separate key to your room. I keep my room unlocked most of them time because I’m prone to forget my keys. But in order to get back into the building after running, I have to take my keys with me. Well, this is kind of an issue. What do you do with the keys while you’re running?

I’ve tried a number of various solutions. Holding them. Tying them to my shoelaces. Tying them to the drawstring on my pants or shorts. Hiding them on the tires on my car. Etc. You get the picture. Turns out the best solution is to put them in my sports bra. It doesn’t sound comfortable, I realize, but it works great. I just stick them on the side and I don’t ever feel them and they don’t go anywhere and it’s perfect. I’ve done this over five times now – it works.

So, I stick my keys in my bra, and go run. I’m about back to school and I go to get my keys and they’re not there. Crap. So, I turn around and walk back through my route; but, it’s dark and I can’t find them. I come back to school and people are outside working on a project, so someone let me in and I got two flashlights and a bagel for dinner and Jeff and I headed back out.

Meanwhile, Mark showed up in his car and he started looking, too, by driving really slowly through the route. So, the three of us are looking and Mark heads home after driving through twice and Jeff and I keep looking. We run into the dean of faculty who’s out walking his dog and he helps us look for a bit. But, no luck.

So, we head back and there is a whole slew of people out working on this project, including some professors and so everyone is sympathizing and I go back in my room and make a phone call for sympathy (which I got, mostly). And head back to work on the project, but they’re done. Dang it!

So, come back inside and I’m chatting online and feel something strange. And, yup. Keys. In my bra. The whole time. They had just moved. Don’t ask. I have no idea how I didn’t feel them. Yup. Classy. Okay. Gonna go shower and watch Alias to forget how smooth I’m not.