I want to say something about seminary.
Seminary seems to me a strange place. It is school, and academics are important here, but it is also a community of faith. This can be a strange mix. And strange things are happening to me here.
I heard a lot of rumors about seminary before I came. About how difficult and trying it would be. About how confusing it would be. About how it could mess up my whole life. About how it could destroy my faith. And, I had seen examples of these things in people I knew. It was a little troubling, hearing all these rumors right before moving, but I was not worried.
And I’ve had little reason to be. Minus the weather, which has drastically improved, there is not a lot different in this place than in the places I’ve been before. People here are generally liberal. The conservatives are either open for conversation or so loud and angry as to be easily dismissible. The school work is (mostly) interesting and academically rigorous. The community is supportive. I love it here. I can’t imagine having to leave some day.
But every now and then I’m struck by what a strange place this is. Most of us here are younger, in our 20s or early 30s. We come from well-educated, generally well-off families. We went to liberal arts schools, we had lots of friends growing up – we are not noticeably strange or weird. But here we all are, at seminary. Here we all are talking about God and Jesus all dang day. It doesn’t seem odd in this place because this is a contained place and we are all crazy together, but this is a crazy place. People don’t go around every day, all day, talking about Jesus.
I’m not a big God-talker. I didn’t grow up talking about God much. I didn’t grow up praying much. I just went to church (because I had to) and youth group (because my friends were there). I grew up intelligent and rational. My parents are teachers and we are a sensible family. Everything was subjected to reason and common sense in my house and I appreciate that. But this place. It has a lot of God talk. And God talk is not often very rational.
At first I barely noticed. Once we got past the “call stories” of orientation, it was just about school and the God-talk was just part of it. But I’ve been taking this preaching class and I noticed something strange yesterday. I had to watch the video of my last sermon and I realized:
I speak God-talk now.
I find this a little terrifying. I don’t mean to be offensive, but I want nothing to do with Jesus freaks or holy rollers or God talkers or evangelists, or anything of the sort. My impressions of such people are not positive and I do not look highly on being lumped into those categories.
Yet I love it. I love this preaching stuff. Particularly the God-talk stuff. I love looking at these texts that confound and claim me (as my preaching professor put it) and finding ways to convey the claim and the confusion. I like subjecting these texts and stories to reason and common sense and seeing what they give me in response. And I like taking those responses and putting in them words that relate people, that name experiences and hopes and dreams and disappointments. I love it.
I am torn. I do not want to be a God-talker. I do not want to be a Jesus freak or a holy roller or, God forbid, an evangelist. But here I am at seminary (of all the strange places) and I love it; and I love the preaching. And I think I’m in trouble. I speak God-talk.
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